Woah...why being serious al of a sudden LOOL? It's amazing that everything in your life is driven by your faith and that the thought of "passing into heaven" is still ticking in your mind. I consider myself a regular person really...I don't do less and honestly I don't do more...the only thing that I'm terrible at is waking up for the dawn prayer :(
 

hmm..i-dunno..im-a-huge-fan-of-faith-and-pleasing-God-is-one-of-my-top-priorities-and-stuff-but-i-dunno-if-this-should-mean-u-should-have-a-predictable-life-with-no-fun-or-wild-surprizes..i-mean-just-cuz-we-wanna-be-religious-doesnt-mean-we-gotta-have-this-boring-life..wait..im-trying-to-say-this-the-best-way-possible-but-its-not-coming-out-right..hmm..i-dunno...i-mean-does-this-mean-im-a-bad-person-if-i-give-into-a-little-temptations-here-and-there..maybe-i-didnt-get-u-right...could-u-plz-clarify?..what-sort-of-"temtation"-or-things-u-say-u-wish-u-could-do-but-dont?
and-i-understand-how-God-will-reward-u-for-being-good-but-society?-what-do-they-have-to-with-it..ppl-cant-control-ur-fate..u-can..bimashee2at-rabbi-ofcourse..
i-dont-think-ur-being-naive-nor-making-up-excuses-but-i-think-u-should-relax-and-have-alittle-more-fun..good-fun,that-is..i-dont-think-God-would-mind:)...
and-i-really-admire-the-fact-that-u-can-say-no-to-temption..thats-strong..sometimes-i-wish-i-was-stronger..i-try-to-please-God-as-much-as-i-can-but-kida-sometimes-i-feel-like-i-need-to-do-a-better-job-at-it..u-know?

anywayz...nice-post+blog..:)

sorry-bout-the-dashes:S...spacebar-screwed-up...
 

Well you know there are people that follow what is written for them to do, but will never see heaven!
All we can really do is try are best to understand what is expected of us, and be good people!
 

"Do you think that I'm being naive or that I'm just making excuses 'cos I'm scared?"
No way! don't let people trick you into believing that. it takes strength and determination to lead a life like the one you lead. and all you said was good and right. even though sometimes i don't stick to it (it gets a bit hard sometimes), i believe in all you said. don't let people fool you into thinking that it's wrong!

by the way, love your blog title: krispy dixie! i clicked on your blog coz of the cool name :p
 

My lifestyle is driven by common sense .. and even that gets thrown out the window every once and a while. ;)
 

hmmm tricky question,...

theres nothing wrong with doing what your religion expects of you, and from what little i know about you i'm pretty sure youre not like the rest who rely on this mullah or that cleric's opinions. the whole point of religion is to make life bearable and have meaning while on this mortal plane so if it does that for you then great.

but it seems like you feel like somethings missing, right?

the age old question of 'is this all there is to it?'

i suppose it depends which road you want to go down, and what you feel is missing..... i mean you could do the "go out and have a good time thing so long as youre not contraveneing your religion kind of excitement" or the "become a missionary in the jungles of borneo" kind of excitement which would also gel with your faith. it depends on what youre after.

and surely being a good person isnt just about not making minimal mistakes right? what about making a difference or changing just one persons life for the better? i'm pretty sure that if a hooker managed to save a persons life, then she can do all the hookering she wants and she'll still get credit for it when the time comes cos whats more important cosmicly, affecting someone for the better or how you made a living to feed yourself?

as for the scared part, no need to jump headlong into a life of drugs, thievery and promiscuity,... start off with going to a strange restaraunt and just pointing at something without reading what it is when you order :P you might be pleasantly surprised :P

and at the end of the day, personally i try to live by this:

its better to regret the things you have done rather than those you havent.
and
if it did this will i be able to sleep soundly for the rest of my life?

then again my flashbacks usually make me kick myself and cringe at my stupidity, but i do get a good laugh out of it:P

actually, forget it dont listen to me i clearly shouldnt be giving anyone any sort of life advice :P
 

fallen angel I'm not serious all the time.. its just something that passed through my mind so I thought I'd share it..

beejay you know? the same sort of temptation everyone faces. Should I do this? Should I do that? What would my parents think if I did this or that... questions like that.. but I appreciate your input..

Palo-girl Thanks, I appreciate it :D

KtheK that's the way I live most of the time... but common sense tends to be tied to faith since a religion that defies reason is not really appropriate..

Skunk Are you calling me a hooker?? :P

I loved your comment. It was kinda messed up.. in true skunk fashion, but for the most part you got what I meant...

My life is just filling up with a lot of "what ifs?" and I don't like that cos I'm not a wishy washy person....

but the direction my life has taken has been completely outta my hands...

I stick with safe options and I hate it..

I revise my question at the end and answer it myself.

I am scared.

I'm scared shitless...
 

I admire you. I admire for having the strength to get up everyday and resist temptation. I admire you for being able to make yourself get up and pray, five times a day, day in and day out. I admire you for having that special kind of bravery to be afraid. Faith is many things, love, fear, obligation, even a need to believe.
When I don’t pray, it’s because I’m too ashamed to face Allah but too attached to the status quo to change it. It’s kind of my MO, I stay away from someone because I feel guilty, the more I stay away the more guilty I feel, and the more guilty I feel the more I want to avoid the while situation.

So yes, I admire you, very much. For having the strength to love and to be afraid, to face up to it and to face it.
 

"common sense tends to be tied to faith since a religion that defies reason is not really appropriate.."

ummm not to nitpick here but, doesnt religion by definition defy reason because it is based on faith since faith itself by definition could be called the polar opposite of reason (using the scientific terms of reason) :P ?

lol nevermind :P

and dont worry about being scared, everyone is. the thing is to do something about it,...

so tomorrow go do something silly, like buying a musical instrument :D get one of those lil harmonicas, the sounditself will make you smile, or go tothe jamaiya and get one of those keyboards you blow air into :P

then we can start a band yayyyyyyyy!

theres nothing like music to give your life a new and not too detructive direction :P

failing that theres always crack and manwhores :D
 

oh and re being scared of stuff,...

3abeer once wrote on her blog that she cooks and eats things that scare her cos then they dont scare her any more .

quite a nice way to live :P
 

It's fine to be scared and okay to be naive...just live your life in a way that gives you inner peace.
 

snocone I appreciate your comment as I always do, but I don't think there's anything to admire about my situation.

My ability to resist temptation is part faith, as my post said, but the bigger part of it is fear...

fear is the most useless emotion.

its not something to admire.

I admire people who live their lives, not recklessly, but live it in a fullfilling, satisfying way.

to me, that's something to admire.

Before, when I was in a more emotionally charged state, I was bursting with creativity. I could write. I could write for hours. Poems, novels, articles. everything...

and now, I'm just numb. and nothing is coming.

I hate that.

skunk people think that faith and reason are mortal enemies, but they're not.

Faith means believing in something you can't prove, something you can't see.

some people think there's no reason to believe in something so intangible.

but eventually, with enough faith, you get a feeling. A feeling of security. of certainty. A feeling that someone, somewhere approves of you.

That feeling does not defy reason. it transcends it.

its my love and hate of that feeling that has me in this situation.

I'm tired. I'm tired of waiting for my reward.

mia thanx mia. Its just that sometimes that's easier said than done.
 

Don't be afraid as long as ur doing ur duty...God is with us always...
 

Nothing's wrong with faith. It keeps us going when we're in hopless situations, but I don't think it should drive excitement out of our lives.

I recommend.Narrative Therapy, also known as Collaborative Language Systems Approach (CLSA). Read about it and you might want to apply it on yourself as well:

homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/class/Psy394V/Pennebaker/ClassNotes/Narrative%20Therapy.doc
 

"I'm tired. I'm tired of waiting for my reward. "

well go out and get it then :P

for the world afterall is what you make of it :D

and lol i was just busting your chops with that reason/fatih comment :P