I'm reading this book about Mount Vesuvius and ancient Italy. Apparently, when a man was asked to give sworn testimony in a courtroom, he had to grab his testicles and swear by the gods or his neighbor's cat or something that he was in fact telling the truth..... They should have had someone else (like a recently-converted lesbian* or something) grab his testies... I bet he would have told the truth then.... That's where the latin word for 'witness', which is testis, came from... You can also pick up its influence in our modern word 'testimony'.


I wonder what the women had to grab... could she grab the nearest man's testicles .. or was there some sort of ancient Roman dildo that she could hold onto while she gave her testimony....?

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You know that song on the radio? I don't know what its called, but here are some sample verses to get us all on the same page...

She is a cheerleader, I'm in the marching band...
She something something, I'm sittin' in the stands..
I get a little bit, she gets a little more...

something something, I think my boyfriend wants to date her....

Are you all familiar with this little ditty?? They only play it like every ten minutes on SuckStation 99.7 radio kuwait.

My point is... what the bleeding devil is wrong with that b^tch?!?! That has got to be the whiniest song I have ever heard in my life. What the hell is she complaining about!?

I hear the song so much that I have unconsciously begun to decipher it. First of all, who is this chick that the singer is (freakishly) obsessed with?? At first I thought, well duh she's the 'popular' girl at school. That annoying chick that all girls hate and all boys adore. This notion was furthered by the fact that she appears to be a cheerleader of some sort. But then the singer goes "She gets the top bunk and I'm sleeping on the floor." So, does that make her the 'popular' girl's sister? o ba3dain chinna she's being a bit dramatic... ishda3wa sleeping on the floor marra wa7da??

So, then I'm thinking she can't be the singers sister 'cos madry.. from the lyrics it would seem like their relationship is not particularly close. The singer doesn't tell us anything real or personal about this chick. Just that apparently she's a mega-watt b^tch that needs to be taken down a peg or two.... So, I start pondering the bunk bed situation and I come to the conclusion that perhaps singer and Little Miss 'popular' shared a bunk bed at some sort of summer camp... but the girl is a cheerleader whereas the singer belongs in the marching band (If you ask me, she belongs on the ground underneath the marching band..) but anyway, I've never heard of cheerleaders and marching bands sharing camp grounds....

I've put way too much thought into this already and I apologize profusely for this long-winded, pointless post... I just have one more thing to add about the song...

Maybe its just me but everytime she goes: "She's miss america and I'm just the girl next door.."

I always end up singing: "She's miss america and I'm just the whore next door."

I kinda like my version better.. after all, she has admitted to sleeping on the floor at times... and besides, we all know how kinky marching band members are.. (This one time... at band camp....)

*There's no footnote containing information on how to get in touch with recently-converted lesbians or anything like that... I just like pissing you guys off! :P
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What would the Happy Bunny do?

-Layla

23:11