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La Verita
I am a half kuwaiti/half american girl living in Kuwait. I am perpetually suspended in the granite hollow that fills the space between two worlds... Not quite who I am, not quite who I want to be... Cat-lover, poet, music-nut. I currently hold a PHD in both BS and Smartass. In short, I pitch my tent in the median of life..


Picture perfect
"Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."


Curled-up with..


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Thursday, December 15, 2005
Marrying Young... For or Against??

Marrying young seems to be a new fad in young Hollywood.. In fact, you could go so far as to say that marriage seems to be the 'new' dating... And yet, most young marriages (in Hollywood at least).. start out looking like this...

only to end up, three or four years later, looking like this....

detached... and strangely distant...

Marrying young in our culture is a very normal, even encouraged, thing. Men are encouraged to marry young in order to calm them down/get them settled. Women are pressured to marry young so that their lives can become more secure and also to avoid the *Gasp 'spinster' rep. However, we also frequently hear about these young marriages failing and ending in divorce in a couple of years, if not months. Whereas, a marriage between two older individuals seems to have more staying power. Is it because they have both seen and experienced enough of the world to know that they have it better together and therefore feel no need to seek external stimulation? Or is it just that young people are, in most cases, just too immature to deal with the more realistic aspects of marriage?

Most young people, at least the ones I've known, seem to go into marriage for the wrong reasons. For guys, they seem to go into it in an effort to secure sexual gratification on a regular basis. Women tend to go into marriage for that reason as well or just to get some period! My point is that, more often than not, men and women go into marriage young expecting it to be all fun and games and constant sex.. then the realities of everyday life begin to set in... The maintaining of a home, managing of finances, co-ordinating of schedules, loss of independent social lives.. These things can wreck havoc on two people who are not prepared to put in the time and effort of maintaining the marriage.. The end result is usual a combination of bitterness, resentment and, finally, divorce...

So, here is my question for you lot... Marrying young, good idea or bad?? Does it depend on maturity? or will a young marriage have it harder regardless of maturity?? Let's hear it, people!


I'll stop the world and melt with you,
you've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time...



I have mixed views on marriage.
One minute I want to wait until I fall madly in love and then think of marriage. Other times an arranged marriage doesnt seem too bad.

You see, the thing is. I've seen people have arranged marriages and do great, I've seen people marry for love and do great, I've seen people who married young and do great and finally I have seen people who marry when they are older and also do great. In all the above instances, I've seen similar people do not so great. Some divorce others keep at it but live miserably.

So really, I don't know.
Comment people, maybe I might learn something new.

It is a combination of factors which ultimately determine the success of a marriage... I'm just trying to wittle it down to the core and see what the main determinent might be....

I've always thought of getting married after I'm done with studying and get all my degrees, bes I gotta say if the right woman comes along I don't know if I'm gona be able to control my feelings :P No I'm not talking about sex! (well not just sex..) I'm guessing I'm gona want to see her every day, discuss Friends with her over every meal & have a pillow fight every night!! Man oh man am I a kid!.. Anyway I think young marriages don't work because the spouses feel they're still young and still have options and so get out of the commitment over minor details before it's too late! When you're older your options are limited so you learn to make sacrifices ;) But that's just me :P

That's a nice point of view and I pretty much agree with you on what u said....

being a kid isn't all bad! ;)

with dating young or like fiance thingi no kids ...and they stay together as a dating couple until friendship grows between them then after 5 years the baby knocks :) keefy

Ok this has nothing to do with the post. But I like Jessica's hair in the 2nd pic. I always liked '3ichfa faransiya' :P
3ichfa 3ichfa 3ichfa
Another funny Kuwaiti word.

judy abbott> ikhthay raa7tich yumma! :D

DR> 3ichfa is a hilariously funny kuwaiti word!! want one that's even funnier?? how about 3angoo9a!!?? :P

Marrying at an older and wiser age definitely increases the chance of a successful marriage. And I have to disagree with you 7tenths when you said “spouses feel they're still young”, it’s the opposite. At that age you think you know it all, it’s the ego of youth. Only to find out later that marriage is a big responsibility that you did not count for. But sometimes it comes too late, especially when children come along. And that’s when your real problems start because you are a kid yourself, you have the responsibility twards yourself that you hardly can keep up with, and expected to raise a family while you don’t have any clue how to do that. Can a doctor operate without having a practicing degree first? No
Then how would you expect someone to get marriage at an age where companionship is all what he/she is seeking. Marriage is an institute, keeping the family is a huge responsibility, raising kids is a full time job for both. You need to be financially and emotionally independent and responsible before starting even to think about marriage
nice post :)

Been there, done that. Check this

3angoooooo9aaaaa! Hilarious!
Ok, now for serious me.
Ayya touched upon a very important point. It seems the older I get (and the wiser) I thank God that I didn't get married earlier. A while back I thought I knew it all and that I was ready for marriage should the right person come along. Now I say: Uh-Uh. Not me. I feel clueless. I would probably make a mess.

But, its still amazes me how young people get married. From 17 to 21. Shlon?! My mother got married when she was 18/19, dad was 4/5 years older (ya3ni my age now) and they turned out great mashAllah. I would be lucky if I ever have half of what my parents have.

How do people make relationships work?

Maybe this is just my inner ignorance talking, but here comes the rebuttal: I'm not disagreeing with you Ayya or anything, in fact that ego of youth thing does ring true, but how is that the opposite to what I said? Since they realize they're still in their 20s and aren't prepared for such a responsibility, alot get discouraged and think "I'll go through this later" .. But say you're 40 and this is your first marriage, don't you think you'd put a helluva alot more effort than if you were say 18? Well, not you you, but like the general oblivious population :P Personally, I'm glad that I already realize the responsibility of marriage and just subtly shake my head in disapproval as I see my friends rush off to get married just to secure a relationship, wondering how long it'll last this time :(

I don't think it has anything to do with age. It has to do with morals. Marriage today has no sanctity. Look at all the older hollywood stars who marry then divorce within a few months. It's sickening. Society has begun to tear down marriage and it's become acceptable almost to marry at the drop of a dime. I think people who marry young and are really in love (unconditionally) will be happy together, if they were raised right and are responsible.
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