After spending years and years in emotional exile, I assumed I’d grown accustomed to it and was now proficient at being single. A few days ago I realized that I’ve been ignoring the signs all along and life wasn’t fulfilling anymore. I need a man. Seriously, being the only unmarried fully-mature grown up girl in the family doesn’t help either. I am constantly bombarded with questions as to when I am planning to get married, or why I haven’t agreed on any one of my present suitors yet- it’s getting ridiculous!! I’ve always dreamed that the guy I’d be with had to sweep me off my feet and rock my world. And none of my family members actually understand that I need to have ‘chemistry’ with the guy I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.
Kuwait is hardly the place to hook up, I mean I was always thinking I’ll probably meet someone in college and when that didn’t happen I assumed it would be work. But now I guess I have to switch jobs just so that I could still hold on to hope!! Men seem to have it going for them; they are somewhat immune to the ‘I hope-I-don’t-end-up-a-spinster’ kind of insecurities that women tend to harbor. We struggle with constantly having to look good in case we run into that ‘special someone’ and he doesn’t deem us ‘hot-enough’ for him!!
Everywhere I go, I run into cute adorable couples holding hands, smiling at each other, dining together and feeding each other. It’s just so cute!! Can’t I have that too?? Am I the only one who’s single?? I’ve been single for so long I don’t think I should be in the market anymore!! It’s not that guys haven’t thrown themselves at me or haven’t constantly harassed me every time I set my foot outside the door, but I was just never interested. The idea of a guy harassing me like that in the middle of the streets is not my idea of romance!! Can’t the guys be a little bit more original?? Instead of following girls around and then shoving their numbers in their faces like they were animals or something – they should at least have the decency to chat a woman up and get to know her! And then they chase girls all the way to their houses hoping that they will get lucky. If a girl says ‘no’ it doesn’t mean ‘follow me back to my house and we can go in for a hot make-out session!!’
I think my main problem is that I set the bar too high. I was always looking for more. I never wanted to settle for less because I thought I deserved to be with someone I could fall in love with. I guess it hit me though that ‘it aint happenin any time soon.’ Come to think about it; is it worth staying single for God-knows-when just because I haven’t found the ‘right guy’ yet? Maybe I should throw myself out there more often and allow myself to ‘fall hard’ regardless of the consequences just so that I could climb back on the horse and know I can get over it and still have hope to meet the ‘right guy’ one day.
In moments of temptation, sometimes I think I can settle for a guy who barely speaks English, or a guy who doesn’t have a sense of humor, or someone who doesn’t make me feel comfortable enough to be around him….etc,. But will I really be satisfied knowing I had to make all those sacrifices just to be with someone I don’t even fancy??!! Maybe friends with benefits doesn’t sound so bad right about now- a girl’s gotta be satisfied one way or another!!